Friday, April 2, 2010

Can you afford a house?


Good grief, I will NEVER buy another house—what a total gyp and headache!

But some people just won’t listen to you (have you found that?). So now we go to Ilyce Glink’s story from Tribune Media Services concerning how to tell if you can afford a house.

I will tell you how--weigh your gold bars and if they equal the weight of your car, you can get a house. (This should cover upkeep, too—you know the actual real-life gypsies that come by wanting $250 to weedeat, and the escalating homeowner’s insurance, and the lobotomy you need every time you think about how much you owe and how you can’t sell, etc.).

First, according to this, how much you make a year is only a starting calculation.

Then there is your credit history and score (!!). The worse the score—you need to be above 760, I heard, but this says 620-660 for FHA—the less house you can get.

How much cash do you have—convert the gold. The more cash you can put down, the better the interest rate.

Try to put down 20% to avoid that PMI thing.

If the joint has a condo assn or HOA, that will be deducted from the amt you can pay each mo for the mortgage.

The monthly interest amts on your credit cards will reduce your funds. Debt service on student loans—reduce.

If you earn your own business, the money on your return governs what the lender will approve. Cash flow from the business is no longer counted. If you find ways to reduce your taxable income to almost zero—then that is how much they think you make.

This is making me sick…proceed.

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