Thursday, July 22, 2010

Things not to say in an interview


“Can I get your website address?” You should have already memorized the website.

“Could you make a copy of my resume—this is my original.” Slap, slap--you're a doofus.

“I am a jack of all trades.” What comes next—“And master of none.” (Oh, you’ve heard that one.)

“I am sure I saved my last company some money, let me think.” Have the numbers at hand. Same for making the company money, winning a contract, doing a merger, etc.

“Is that your daughter in that picture?” Your wife—oh. She’s lovely.

“I don’t tweet. And don’t mind my Facebook—my boyfriend told me to put those pictures on there.”

“What are the hours for lunch?” Do you plan to work first?

“Why did I quit my last job? Something about money, I didn’t do it, though.”

“My biggest accomplishment? Kicking drugs without rehab.”

“Hold on, I need to take this.”

I once interviewed a nice young woman and she asked the hours. “I said, “Well, after you’ve paid some dues, you can come and go as you please, so long as the work gets done.”

“Dues?” she replied. “You have to PAY to work here?”

1 comment:

Star Lawrence said...

Joe Nocerino at CenturyPlanning.com is looking for proposal writers with a SECRET and up govt clearance. You can reach him at joe.nocerino (at) centuryplanning.com. Unlike this post, this is not a joke.