Friday, January 7, 2011

Women need to shop like men do

Shocking, I know, but I bought some new pants, a nightgown with no holes except a neckhole in it, and a sweatshirt. I was feeling extra fat, so everything was too big.

I am going to wear the pants anyhow, give someone the long shirt, and keep pulling the nightgown up on my shoulders.

I am an idiot who can’t get dressed.

Christina Binkley, WSJ. Jan 6, 2011, says women get hosed when it comes to buying clothes—they should do what men do.

Men don’t buy uncomfortable clothing, for one thing. I can’t tell you how many times my sister groans and yanks at her waistband. I say, “Elastic.” She snaps: “Even elastic hurts.”

Or things are too short—white shins, or you bend over and everyone can see the good china.

Or itchy-scratchy.

Men also get free alterations. I have taken clothes to the tailor in balmier economies…It’s a good move.

Fashion designers figure women will throw clothes out sooner than men—are more changeable and fickle. Ergo, they go cheap.

Feel to see if the material is soft, the seams complete, no loose threads.

Don’t focus on brands. Big brands can sell crappy stuff. Pants should have a two-layer waistband. Are the seams wide enough if you need to, ahem, let it out at some point?

Try it on. Can you raise your arms without everything going wacko? Can you squat without bagging the knees? Can you breathe?

Breathing is especially good. My sister, fortunately, never needs to.

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