Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Extreme cheapskates

I have a section of fence that needs repair and when I get a huge bid, the guy says, "You want it done right, don't you?" Actually, I think, not really.

But I am not as extreme a cheapskate as the entertaining folks on the show "Extreme Cheapskates."

--One woman has not bought clothes in eight years--she finds them on the street. (I used to find all my umbrellas in cabs--but that's different, right? RIGHT?)

--One guy flushes the toitie once a week (he has two roommates). He tells a girl he has somehow lassoed into going out with him this and makes a concession: "You can flush." She is gratified to hear it but put off when he washes the plastic plates in the cheapo BBQ place to take home to use later. Also, he precedes the meal by asking her, "You're not really hungry, are you?" He eats half of hers.

--A guy asks a family he somehow met on the internet if he can sleep on their couch when he gets to town--just one night. They say OK--and he makes them a nice hot meal of fish heads as payment.

--A woman serves her guests expired sandwiches she found in a dumpster.

--Several people shower in their clothes and lather up the duds--a two-fer!

Is this thrift or pathology? You decide. Oh--one man also makes his own deodorant, a curdled mess he sort of pushes up from a toilet paper roll.

I would have yelled "Check, please!" long before that.

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