Wednesday, October 2, 2013
With friends like these...
Over the years, I have left people behind, even purged people--and they have done the same or drifted away. When I moved west, a lot of people forgot me. Out of sight, out of mind.
I can get worked up over this if I try.
Elizabeth Bernstein, WSJ, Sept 24, 2013, says friendships can develop cracks and people can show their true colors over time.
Usually, I have found, one person is more into it than the other one.
Still, friendship is not all tit for tat. Usually you give without expecting anything in return.
But over time, if it's too unbalanced you can develop "relationship distress," according to this article.
Even the most giving person, the one who does not keep score, can notice if they are not receiving support back.
The woman used as an exmple in the story was constantly babysitting for her friend, driving her when the other woman's car was in the shop, listening endlessly to her problems--and then when she needed a letter of recommendation written to adopt a kid, the "friend" bailed--no letter.
This friendship ended.
I have developed the theory that friendships may have lifespans. They may be "meant" to be limited, some of them.
Another thing I know for sure--you can't write a script and get people to read it. Won't happen.