Thursday, December 19, 2013

Sad at Christmas?

People tend to get sad if they aren't as hippy-hoppy-happy as they think they should be. But when you start to dwell on someone who died recently, it can get really bad.

A missing face at the table--all of that.
Hayley Hirschmann, PhD, a bereavement specialist at Morris Psychological Group in Parsipanny, NJ, says there is no right or wrong way to grieve, but some forms of expression can lead to lasting depression. Pardon me, but wouldn't that be the "wrong" way then?

We all know the five stages from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (which she sort of refuted when she was dying). These are shock, sadness, anger, fear, and acceptance.

Wallowing is bad--not facing at all is bad.

So what should you do?

Lean on friends and family.

Join a support group.

If you have a faith, participate on it.

Plan for grief triggers--maybe a certain tradition.

And if you feel really undone, talk to a counselor.

Gradually, the fact of the loss will become another thing about you--but not the way you are defined.

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