Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Learn to grovel like a champ

This is the age of being sorry. Get used to it. You can be racist if you want, an idiot, a chauvinist, a bully, an incompetent--but with free speech now comes the requirement to apologize for your sins.

Scott McCartney, WSJ, July 10, 2014, writes about how airlines are sort of not good in the apologizing department. And they have to do it a lot!

First--and this might not be good--Southwest has a computer sort complaints into Feelers, Drivers, Entertainers, and Thinkers. Then it crafts an apology for each.

Actually airlines have to respond in 30 days--so they get with it.

One letter from Delta said, "I'm really sorry about the injury you suffered on our flight. (Critiqued by an Eng prof, this sounded childish.) Unfortunately, you were hurt by a seat marker. (This was supposed to be personalized, of course the passenger remembered the incident.)

The letter goes on: "That truly sounds unpleasant. You should have had a nicer experience on our plane." (Me--darn right, can it.)

It goes on in this syrupy and simplified tone. One paragraph reminded the passenger she got ice for her injury.

Why not write? "I am so sorry you whacked our head on a seat marker on ____ date. This should never have happened. We are buying a different brand of airplane next time--don't hate us. And here is a free ticket to Bali. The MRIs are on us. Is there any other way we can make up for this? Maybe put your child through college or something?"

I can dream.

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